(if any of you have had a similar experience, please chime in :)
so, i went outside to the rock after lunch for my post-lunch meditation attempt. i'm enjoying them even when i don't really accomplish anything meditation wise, and it'll be sad when school starts again and there are throngs of barely post-adolescent people meandering loudly about, ("what's crazy dr. k doing?")...not to mention the very LOW likelihood i'll be wanting to sit my butt in the snow against an ice covered rock...but i digress...
anyway, sat down, breathed, attempted the 9 breaths meditation. i've got the breathing down (4 in 4 out) pretty well, now, so i'm just starting to try for some simple visualizations. i seem to be able to do it okay when other folks lead it, so now it's just leading it meself.
anyway, whether its the full belly, or the sound of workers, but i can't really do it at all, so i decide on just some random musing. i talk to our late vp academic affairs, who is posthumously at the heart of a small scandal, and consequently not around to defend himself :/ there's a tree planted in his honor directly across from where i sit.
then i start thinking of Woden, what with it being Woden's Day and all. i "hadn't had time" for a morning hail, which i know is a lie...i've come to the conclusion that there is plenty of time for what i want to do, i just need to actually do it and not sit on the couch (or in front of the computer typing LJ updates :D ) thinking/writing about it. anyway, i'm trying to see if i can write a song "odin on the tree for nine days...." it's not working of course. i also enter the circular rat race of "i need to do X, but first i need to do Y and i haven't done Z for so long, i wish i 'had more time.' "
it is of course at this point that i hear a very clear voice saying "if i can hang on a tree for nine days, you can do what you need to get done."
[note: i don't ever have visions or anything. whenever i believe i am experiencing divinity, it is in this way...a voice or thought from out of the blue. of course, i could also be in the beginning stages of dementia, but i like the divine intervention theory better.]
that startles me out of my self-pity-time-trap daydream....whoa.
dammit...it's kinda fading now...something along the lines of "just shut up and do it." oh....uh, okay....yes sir!!! each excuse is met with 'if i can hang on a tree for nine days, you can do something for 15 minutes"
[the juxtaposition of my religion and my flylady
cult is kinda bizarre, i know...]
i believe at one point one of the things i wanted to have more time for was this whole meditation thing, which the response was "You need practice. Until you get it, you will get nothing else. If I can hang on a tree...(etc.)"
so, (if it's not too flaky sounding) i believe i have been spoken to...and given a task. this is good...right?