the stars behind my eyes

ta da:

Mon. 12/19: (recovering from driving back from EEEEEvil detroit...whoever invented 'michigan turns' should be shot.)
Tue 12/20: AM Ehwaz
Wed 12/21: AM Jera PM Muin

12/22 and 12/25 were basically spent wishing i could die and get it over with already.

actually, that's not true. i was feeling more lifelike by the 24th, but then family festivies sadly took over. overall not a good week for meditation.

getting caught up with stuff...

Mon 11/21 AM Sigel
Tue 11/22 AM Nyd PM Sword of Nuada
Wed 11/23 AM Ger
Thu 11/24 AM As PM Edad (Aspen)
Fri 11/25 AM Sigel PM Onn (Furze/Gorse)
Sat 11/26 tummy flu :(
Sun 11/27 AM Wen

lots of stuff about enlightenment, creativity (especially mental), determiniation, effort, but the good kind. i had it all kinda figured out as i went, but lost it with all the grading.

eh, life, she must go on....

11/7 AM Ken PM Cauldron of Dagda and Spear of Lugh
11/8 AM Beorc PM Ur (heather)
11/9 AM Daeg
11/10 AM Man
11/11 AM Man
11/12 AM Ing

so, um, yeah...evenings still problematic...hockey season and all.

well...i'm a little disappointed in the way my samhain season worked out, for all the stress and angst i 'entertained' everyone with....but let's get started with the write-up. (adf-ers, dep preceptory and ex-preceptory types invited to comment...everyone else too.)

( What Samhain Means )

( stone soup circle )

( Three Cranes )

( hearth )

so, now it's on to yule...what does one do for 12 days? :)

and all is not well....and not looking up for week 7 :/

10/19: Dagaz
10/20: mannaz
10/21: Naudiz
10/22: hagalaz
10/23: Fehu

obviously getting back on track taking a bit more than anticipated. and we'll note the absence of ogham which means that yes, slothing on the couch took priority over a certain pantheon....bah

...because holidays are too much fun to celebrate only once :) if there's typos, just deal with it. no snooty grammar comments.

( what mabon means to me )

( three cranes grove rite )

( hearth rite )

( stone soup circle rite )

( blackthorn temple rite )

all in all, not AS great as my summer solstice stuff was...but that's okay. i have some ideas for how to change for next year.

what is the sound of one all-father laughing...

of course, singingwren was correct in her usual wise-beyond-her-years way when she said:

maybe you got Wunjo because the All-Father wanted you to look hard to FIND Wunjo in the day despite all the trials that lay before you

and i had completely lost site of the bright spot of monday which was the e-mail i got from a former student who is doing well now in graduate school and owes it all to us (me and the debutante, of all people). *grin*

and the bright spot of coming home to vitaminJ :)

yesterday's rune was fehu and i found a dollar. ho ho, very funny :)

today's is berkano...to which vitaminJ promptly said in homersimpson voice "booooooooobs"

i'm dissing the celts....monday i was too exhausted and distraught. poor danu and soveriegnty^3 get screwed every monday b/c its post karate and i'm asleep on the couch right after i finish dinner at 8. i'm thinking about switching their places...celts in the a.m. dark half of the year, aesir/vanir the light, or leading up to a celtic holiday/germanic holiday or something....

but now it's lunch time...and i can't say i like the mood symbol for that in gothchick :/

yay fog. if only i could concentrate on the fog instead of idiot drivers who don't turn on their lights. and just WHY is everyone in such an all fired hurry to GET TO WORK? shouldn't you all be speeding in the evening when you're going home, so i didn't have to pass your asses every 5 minutes?

either way, LiminalBabe is happy with the foggy dew...

she is not at all happy with the state of her body however. i'm not talking about my usual weight angst (although i discovered exactly WHERE i gained my weight ... i tried to put on a skirt yesterday i hadn't worn 'in a while' and couldn't get it passed mid thigh. yep. all ass and hips. note to self: be more specific when asking for places to gain weight. vitaminJ however, is ecstatic, but that's prolly too much information, so....)

yesterday was first full day of actual work. mon and tue are all about 'here, let me read you the syllabus and make sure we're all in the right room, etc. and yes, i have stories about student...well, not incompetence necessarily, but damn they amuse me at times with finding the hardest way possible to do the easiest thing in the world. (quite possibly b/c i relate so well with that :)

so, wednesday was first actual CLASS, and department meeting (once again considerably less painful w/o the debutante...i can't stress that enough..... ) so, tired is me. got home, vitaminJ and i cooked dinner and did housey things. but MAN my legs and feet and ankles were just THROBBING. we watched raw from monday night...falling asleep AGAIN thru it but saw enough of it to keep up with story lines (and there's the ever excellent raw recap which is often FAR MORE ENTERTAINING than the actual show...

then i lay me down to sleep (post meditation) and the lower back feels like i'm stretching it on the rack. "Yes body i hear you...i will call chiropracter tomorrow i promise." this does take attention away from the persistent ground sleeping induced hip-pain, but i'm not sure i like the trade off. then when i wake up this a.m., it's all in my neck and shoulders (school starts = reading and computer work with probably bad posture, even though i start out trying to be good.) so there will also be an appointment made in all likelihood with duriyah for a massage (i'll try and get a hold of you later...)

none of this kept me from my spiritual duties (although i did get up late cos i didn't feel as though i could safely move my head without it falling off), so....

( Wednesday Night--Lugh and Ogma )

( Thursday AM -- Thor )

yes, you read that right...don't fall over, chronarchy and romandruid :)

well, now that i have my altar set up, no sense in not using it, eh? no i don't have pictures. i'll put this behind the cut, for those who could care less...

( Read more... )

(if any of you have had a similar experience, please chime in :)

so, i went outside to the rock after lunch for my post-lunch meditation attempt. i'm enjoying them even when i don't really accomplish anything meditation wise, and it'll be sad when school starts again and there are throngs of barely post-adolescent people meandering loudly about, ("what's crazy dr. k doing?")...not to mention the very LOW likelihood i'll be wanting to sit my butt in the snow against an ice covered rock...but i digress...

anyway, sat down, breathed, attempted the 9 breaths meditation. i've got the breathing down (4 in 4 out) pretty well, now, so i'm just starting to try for some simple visualizations. i seem to be able to do it okay when other folks lead it, so now it's just leading it meself.

anyway, whether its the full belly, or the sound of workers, but i can't really do it at all, so i decide on just some random musing. i talk to our late vp academic affairs, who is posthumously at the heart of a small scandal, and consequently not around to defend himself :/ there's a tree planted in his honor directly across from where i sit.

then i start thinking of Woden, what with it being Woden's Day and all. i "hadn't had time" for a morning hail, which i know is a lie...i've come to the conclusion that there is plenty of time for what i want to do, i just need to actually do it and not sit on the couch (or in front of the computer typing LJ updates :D ) thinking/writing about it. anyway, i'm trying to see if i can write a song "odin on the tree for nine days...." it's not working of course. i also enter the circular rat race of "i need to do X, but first i need to do Y and i haven't done Z for so long, i wish i 'had more time.' "

it is of course at this point that i hear a very clear voice saying "if i can hang on a tree for nine days, you can do what you need to get done."

[note: i don't ever have visions or anything. whenever i believe i am experiencing divinity, it is in this way...a voice or thought from out of the blue. of course, i could also be in the beginning stages of dementia, but i like the divine intervention theory better.]

that startles me out of my self-pity-time-trap daydream....whoa.

dammit...it's kinda fading now...something along the lines of "just shut up and do it." oh....uh, okay....yes sir!!! each excuse is met with 'if i can hang on a tree for nine days, you can do something for 15 minutes"

[the juxtaposition of my religion and my flylady cult is kinda bizarre, i know...]

i believe at one point one of the things i wanted to have more time for was this whole meditation thing, which the response was "You need practice. Until you get it, you will get nothing else. If I can hang on a tree...(etc.)"

so, (if it's not too flaky sounding) i believe i have been spoken to...and given a task. this is good...right?